I want to move mountains.

In the past months I have had this feeling, this disire. I want to move mountains. I want to do something big! I don't exactly know what it is yet, but I just have this feeling. I know that what I am already doing (youth ministry is huge, and in a way is moving mountains) but I just feel like something bigger than that. So your encouragement/thoughts are appreciated.

God has been doing some pretty big things in my life. I feel like I have fallen deeper with God since my last post. I am opening my bible more, praying more, and worshiping in a new way. I am completly content with the way things are going right now in my life. I am so excited for spring to get here. Mother nature played a mean trick on me today and yesterday. Saturday was beautiful, but yesterday and today it is cold, snowy and rainy.

Lent is this time of a journey, a time on reflection. And that is exactly what I have been doing. I know I don't have all of the answers, and I don't have a lot figured out, but don't we all. "We are free to struggle, but we're not struggling to be free" Shout out to Tenth Avenue North. It is okay to struggle with your faith, and where you are at with God. It is okay for him to be on the back burner. We all have this problem. It is hard to pray/talk to God when really where is he? You kneel by your bed at night, fold your ,pray, look up to the ceiling...is God the ceiling? the bed? the floor? No but I will admit it is hard to pray/talk to Him when you can't physically see Him, but you can see the ceiling. Does this make it pretend? Real? God where the heck are you? You see where I am going with this. Struggling. Sometimes even though we don's see or hear God, we have to trust in the fact that He is there with us no matter what. The way the wind moves through your hair, the pastor giving their sermon on Sunday morning. The good friends of yours, He is there.

Why is it so hard to pray with one another. Are we afraid to tell each other our deepest darkest secrets, fears? Are we so ashamed of our past, present, who/what we really are? Does it make it real, but when we pray to God (the ceiling) is it pretend? In James it says therefore confess your sins with one another, so you can pray for each other. Jesus is constantly praying with people. God knows our deepest sin, and really that is the only judgment we need.

So why is it so hard to tell our closest friends what we are afraid of? Our darkest Sins. Who are they to judge, if they are your friends, and godly friends what should it matter, because the only one who can judge us, is God. But why can't we open up to each other. (Struggling) We are afraid of being judged, and it is in our human nature to judge, and to think of ourselfs to be better than someone else. Drop your pride, your chains are broken God has already forgiven you, but leave the judging to Him.
So I challenge you to drop your chains. Whatever you are holding on to, Our loving and forgiving God has forgivien you, He has washed his hands clean of it. So now it is your turn to forgive yourself. Forget about what is draging you down. I struggle with this everyday. I think of things from my past long ago sins, and I carry them around why? I can't let go of them, I have not forgivin myself. Well today is a new day, and guess what, I am not thinking about them anymore, they are in the past.

This may have been a lot of word vomit for you to read, but today it was more like a journal for me, chatting/typing away at whats in my head and getting it onto the paper for people to see/read, and for me to read as well. I hope you followed my crazyness and just words on a page. But if you take one thing from this, Know that whatever you are going through, it is okay to wrestle and struggle with it. But please forgive yourself, becuase the One who made you and are perfect in everyway, has already forgiven you. You are loved. Live loved today and everyday. pray for each other.